Baby T

Wow, let's just say that the last couple of days have been super rough!!!! I am not quite sure how I have made it to this point, but here I am, awake, still, wondering how baby T is doing. Well let me explain first what got us here. My brother and his girlfriend (a.k.a. sis-n-law, LOL) were expecting a healthy and handsome baby boy December 15th. Everything has gone (for the most part) without a hiccup the entire pregnancy.

Last week she (L) started to experience some contractions, which was thought to be labor. So on Thanksgiving Eve, I took L and brother (C) to the hospital to get her checked out. We just knew this was the real deal, she had been dilated to a 3 at the Dr's office, and was 80% effaced, and at a -1 station, so things were already pretty progressed. We went in they hooked her up and started monitoring her. They could see she was having contractions and was in a little bit of pain. After speaking with the Dr, they decided to keep her for 4 hours for observation. We were told that if her cervix made any change at all, they would be keeping her and letting her progress with labor. Well, of course, (since baby T is the first for her) she made no change, so they sent us home. Obviously L and C were disappointed, but we were ready to wait it out for precious baby T. So on comes Monday and L is in quite a bit of pain, so she called the Dr and they had her come in to take a look. When they checked her she was dilated to a 4, 90% effaced and still at a -1 station. The Dr was pretty sure that she was in labor, so he sent her on over to the hospital to get hooked up and get rocking and rolling with this baby. Well, needless to say after being at the hospital for 3 hours her cervix made no change again, although she was having contractions about every 2 min, so they sent us home again. On Tuesday, L was still in quite a bit of pain but was going to wait it out. The Dr's nurse had heard that they didn't keep her and that she was still laboring it out, so she called L and had her come to the office to see the Dr that was on-call for the day. L and C go to the office to get checked out, thinking that they will probably be sent over to the hospital to have her water broken so labor can get started, only to find out the Dr didn't think she was far enough along in labor to jump-start the process, so they sent her home. Again, L and C were very disappointed. That afternoon L got a call from the Dr's office letting her know that if baby T isn't here by Dec 9th then they were going to induce her that day.

Now, that all brings us to yesterday. I told you all that so you can see how healthy the baby was, and how good mom was doing just progressing along with labor. Yesterday morning, L, left C's apartment to go get her mail from her mom's house. She was on her way back to the apartment when a man ran a stop sign and basically hit L head on. L was driving the speed limit, which was 55 mph, so she had no time to brake and get stopped before being hit. The force caused the air-bags to deploy, and you can all see where this is going, as L was 38 weeks pregnant yesterday. She was taken by ambulance to the hospital where they made the swift decision to deliver baby T as he was in distress. He had a very faint heart beat, so they knew that they had to move fast. They immediately rushed L back for an emergency c-section, so C was not allowed to be in attendance. As soon as they got to baby T they could tell he was not in good condition, and immediately moved him up to the NICU. C went with baby T to get the news for L and the family. It was definitely not the news that we were hoping or praying for. Baby T was without oxygen for quite some time, and he lost a lot of blood, as the placenta abrupted from mom at some point. Due to his blood loss and lack of oxygen, his body temp was elevated. In order to help reduce his temp and to keep baby T healthy, they have had to place him on a "cooling mat" that regulates the temperature of water that runs through a small pillow-like mat that baby T is resting his head on. This mat is helping to keep his body temp at 92.8 degrees while they continue to do work on him and help him survive.

That now brings us to today, where baby T is still in the NICU, and fighting for his life. He lost a lot of blood due to this incident and has therefore had to have 3 blood transfusions. His heart rate was low in the beginning, but it is working it's way back up. His blood pressure was also very low, so they have been administering meds to him to elevate his pressure. His pressure is getting to where it needs to be, so they are starting to wean him off of them, and we are praying that he keeps his blood pressure at a normal rate. Now, this has just turned into a waiting game, waiting to see what will happen in 72 hours. The 72 hours comes into play, as he has to be on the cooling mat for 72 hours, to give his brain a chance to heal itself, and reduce any chance of brain damage. This has to be the hardest part for L and C. I sit here and cry now, just thinking about baby T, and the uncertainty that lies ahead. Don't get me wrong, baby T is making progress, quite a bit of progress, as he is working on taking more breaths on his own (as the ventilator has been doing most of his breathing for him for the last 2 days). He also started to try to open his eyes today to see L and C when they would talk to him. This poor little baby has not even been able to be held and comforted by mom yet. He is sedated due to the medicine, so L and C are not allowed to stimulate him too much. They can say his name softly, and just lay a finger on him, but that is it. They have to stand to the side and watch the machines work on their baby, and continue to pray for the wonderful news that we shall receive very soon. Baby T has been on that mat for about 36 hours right now, so we still have another 36 to go. I never knew how hard it was to just wait for 72 hours to pass.

I am not sure how L and C have made it to this point. I am an emotional wreck. I am only the Ne-Ne (a.k.a an Aunt to many of you,) but this little guy means the world to me!!! I never knew in all the 26 years of my life that I could ever love someone as much as I love T, and my other niece (L) and nephew (A). I literally get out of bed every morning for them. I go to work every day for them, so that I may give them everything they could ever want. These kids are my world!! I would die for any one of them, at any point, for any reason. I am just so unbelievably thankful to be a Ne-Ne to 3 amazing little kids, and I am truly blessed for that. I am sure that L and C know it, but I would literally give up my life so that baby T could just wake up and be okay. I pray everyday that I could take all of the pain/trauma out of his body and allow me to fight this fight for him. He is such a tough little guy and a fighter already, and I know he has a ton of prayers going up for him. Someone up there (a.k.a. Grandpa and Grampy Art) sure are looking out for this little guy, b/c things could have ended so differently already. I am just working on trying to be strong for L and C and the family for this little guy. Every time I have walked away from his room I lose strength just a little more. I just hate to leave him up there, and I hate the fear of the unknown. I am not a patient person, so waiting for this news is killing me!!! I am feeling extremely guilty that there isn't more that I can do to help them and help baby T. I feel guilty for being able to come home and get in my bed and sleep (when I can) away from all the noise and trauma. I feel guilty for baby T b/c he can't enjoy his life yet, this is just an awful way to come into this world.

L and C are already amazing parents! But they are starting to feel the shock of this whole situation. Being C's big sister, I hate to see him hurt. I cannot physically stand to see him cry, (I think it is a guy thing b/c I can't stand to see my dad cry either). I understand that L and C may break down occasionally, and rightfully so, but they have been soooo strong!! They are making several trips a day to the other side of the hospital up and down several different elevators to check on baby T. It is getting hard on L and C to see their baby this way, so helpless, just laying there with a gazillion tubes and wires coming from his tiny little body, and it is staring to show. So I will continue to pray for L and C to have the strength they need to make it through this time, and to continue to be the rocks that baby T needs them to be. I would love if you would continue to pray for my family as we go through this difficult time in our lives, and pray for us all to have the patience that is needed to get us through this event.

It is very hard right now for L and C to grasp the full extent of what has happened. We must continue to remember that God works in mysterious ways. Baby T was just wonderful before the events unfolded yesterday, but as long as they stick together they can pull through this stronger than ever, with an amazing little boy!!

(And Grandpa and Grampy Art, I know you are up there wrapping him up in your love, so please give him a kiss and help him get stronger and healthier so we can bring him home!)