Okay, so as you can tell, I have been absent for quite a few months. It definitely wasn't an intentional absentee, but I have been super swamped between work and school, that life has gotten in the way and kept me very busy!! I am sitting here starting to reflect on my life more (I guess this is something that happens in old age) and I am starting to question what I have done in my life. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for, as I am healthy, I have a very loving and caring family (that I couldn't live without), I have a job, and I am able to live a comfortable lifestyle while attending school and getting an education. But, it just feels like something is missing. I am starting to feel lonely, and feel like I have missed out on something in life b/c I am 26 and single and don't have kids or a family of my own. It is getting harder each day as I see all my friends get married and have kids, and sadly it gets hard to go see them or be around them b/c they always do "family" things, (which there is nothing wrong with) but I don't have a husband or a boyfriend, so it is hard to be invited to couple events or family events, b/c then I just feel like the "third wheel". I am sure that there are many people that have felt this way before (or I keep telling myself that anyways) so I don't disclose that feeling to anyone, not anyone!
I am beginning to feel disgusted with myself and keep looking to place blame on myself as to why I am still single, and why I haven't found the man of my dreams yet. I know that I need to work on myself and get to a point again, where I am okay with being single, and am comfortable with how my life is going. It is definitely hard to get there, but I have high hopes that one day I will have the life that I have always wanted to have, and that I am sure God wants me to have as well. I will just sit back and work on me, and do for me for now, and try not to get too down on myself, it is just so hard to be alone during the holiday's! So I guess I will leave it at that for the night, and take myself to sleep!
Goodnight!
